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So, again a long time....

So, again it's been a long time since I've posted and a lot has changed...well, not a lot but...Well, my dad died. He had a heart attack on January 2nd and he died. I guess I'm in the stage of 'denial'. It's weird because I don't live anywhere near any of my family. I can get on and go to work and act normal most of the time. I can hang out with friends and laugh. But no one seems to want to talk about it. I don't know if I want to talk about it either, honestly, but I wish people would stop hiding from it. It's the strangest, most absurd feeling I have ever felt, I can't even explain it. I'm getting pressure to move home to be with my mom because she has disabilities. Mostly pressure from my sister. I don't know what I want to do. I honestly don't even know if I'm happy here or not. I like it, and I have a lot of fun times. But I have a lot of lonely times too. Mostly, I'm just a whole lot of sadness and a whole lot of confusion all balled into one angsty little body.


Long time no post! Hope everything is well with everyone! A lot has changed with me! New job, new place to live. That's exciting, but the job pays less and the apartment costs more. I really didn't want a roommate, but I'm getting pretty lonely. I've never had very many friends here, I always leaned on my friend from middle school and work. I haven't seen anyone from work since I left and while I do see my friend and another best friend, I just found out they planned a trip to ICELAND without telling me or inviting me. I'd probably not be able to make it work, but I would have liked to try...I'm absurdly hurt by this as we has been talking about planning a trip sometime early next year (when this was supposed to take place). I know I'm probably just pmsing or something, but it sucks to be left out :-/.

On the brightside I have two adorable cats and a wonderful dog to keep me company!

Apr. 27th, 2014

I come back from the dead to post this wonderful gif I made! This scene makes me giggle so much! I <3 Nagase and this drama (which I'm half through) is super funny!



I may get killed by a spider....

There is a spider that lives on the second floor stairwell thingy in my apartment building.  I live on the third floor.  It is a very big spider and it is getting bigger every night.   Every night I take a stick from down stairs, then knock it down as I go up the next staircase and run away, but every night it comes back.   After a week of this, there are only three more outcomes I could see happening.
A. It will jump down and bite me as I pass it one day, then burrow inside me and lay thousands of tiny eggs inside me.
B. It will come into my room while I sleep with all its babies and cover me in a blanket of spiders, then lay a massive web all over me.
C. exsanguination.

Never mind that this is not what spiders do. This one knows I have been knocking it's web down every night. It wants revenge.


I had a very Johnny's filled dream last night.   It had Tokio, Kanjani8, Kinki Kids and Yama Pi in it.  I think it was about some special they all did where they were all in America.  I don't remember much, but I know Kinki were at a museum or something, Kanjani was planning a trip (I think on a metro system or something) and Tokio wanted to eat....Pi didn't come in til the end.  But I think I was trying to get somewhere (I think in D.C.) so I could meet them, and have them all autograph stuff, but I got lost and couldn't figure out how to get there. Then randomly I was  a doctors appointment and THAT was when Pi comes bursting in and tells me to come with him.   It turned out that he had been following me in disguise the whole time and for some reason I was famous enough that they wanted me on this video too....That's really all I remember. I think the whole first part took place in my hometown, but it was a weird version of my hometown (also my hometown has a pathetic metro-like system, but the dream one was very complex)...Also, they need to make that special happen....minus me of course. 

Taichi the Red Panda!

just sharing a pic of Taichi the panda!


Update on my dog!

So, Cappy is home with me now, We had her on fluids all day.   Her bad liver value came down a bit, but was still high, and PCV (packed cell volume) was still high.  But after consulting bloodwork from the beginning of the year, it was high then too so she thinks that the heart issues she was having, might actually be due to the start of some pulmonary issues.  She still doesn't know why the liver value was high, but we're gonna recheck it  in a few days to see if it's coming down.  She thinks that most likely it will be and she probably just got into something.  She also has a bladder infection, so that's also fun.   BUT she's laying next to me now, passed out because she didn't sleep all night last night, poor baby :(.   However, one very impressive thing happened as I was getting ready to leave.  She is a rescue dog, so she is terrified of other people.  She shied away from everyone this weekend.  But as I was getting ready to leave, I had her hooked to the wall while I cleaned the cage she was in and this male technician that she never met just happened to bend down next to her to pet the clinic cat....and Cappy let him pet her!  Then she actually got closer to her to let him pet her more!  THEN she took a treat from him!  It was brilliant!  She's never done that before.   She sort of likes the other male tech we have, but besides that the only male she likes is my dad!   I was so amazed!  Anyway, thanks for all the good wishes and everything, it means a lot to me to know people care! 

My little baby is in the hospital :(


So it was my day off so I took her in to work tonight, and did some bloodwork and xrays and other diagnostics.  One of her liver values came back very high (almost double what it should be) and there was something strange looking around her liver on the xrays, and the intestines looked a bit inflamed, SO she had to stay the night on IV fluids and meds.  I must say THANK GOD I work there and get a massively awesome discount and know how massively awesome my boss and the other techs are, otherwise I would be SO much more worried.  Just spoke with my boss and she said she was doing well, no vomiting or diarrhea so that is good.  I work at 8 so I'll be able to see her in the AM when they repeat her bloodwork.  

A trifecta of bodily functions. Yay.

So I got off work at 2am, right? which is normal.  Got home, couldn't fall asleep, not abnormal.   Dog wanted to go out at 4 so I took her out went down 3 flights of stairs barefoot, and let her pee in her usual spot right off the entryway.  Tried to take her out further so she could poop, she didn't want to.  So, went back in, fell asleep.  2 hours later I'm awoken by the lovely sound of retching.  Yay. She vomited on my bed for the second night in a row.   To be fair, I think she may have tried to vomit off the bed, because it was half on, half off.  I turn the light on and see in front of my vanity sink that there is poop.  Not too surprised really, since she also didn't poop before I went to work last night, but not happy.  Go to pick it up and get some paper towels for the vomit...step right in a soaking wet patch of pee.  Even more yayness. So spent the next hour or so getting that all cleaned up, I hadn't fully made my bed from the previous vomit the night before, so she just puked on the mattress pad.  But as I took it off, some of the puke got on the actual mattress.  So that was fun too.   I have the night off, I actually had planned on going on a date that I already changed once from bowling to an early dinner because I JUST found out last night that I work the 8am to 8pm shift on Saturday (and the 8a-4p shift on sunday)  Before today I had not seen 8 am in a very very long time and usually fall asleep around 4 and sleep til noon or later.  But now I actually texted him and asked him to reschedule so I could take her into work on my day off rather than trying to keep her in a cage for 12 hours and sending her anxiety through the roof.  Also, my roommates bought mussels and...yum.  So now I'm gonna watch episode 1 of Tenma-San ga Yuku subbed and hope the wonderfulness that is Domoto Tsyoshi will put me in a better mood.
So.   What is going on in my life? Well, it's August 1st, right? Almost the weekend, right? You'd think that a work schedule that starts Saturday August 3rd and goes the whole month of August would be out by now, right?  Not in my world it's not.   I know I'm not working next week, even though I only requested off a couple days, and I know my schedule is different this weekend, but hell if I know what it is.   Manager asked me on Sunday *SUNDAY* if I could work different (i.e. earlier) shifts, I said that was fine, but the times she told me don't match up with what a coworker told HER I was working this weekend.   AND all but one of our receptionists is off this weekend (one who just had off LAST weekend and two weeks before that for a whole week) And I do fill in reception, So I don't even know what damn post I'm gonna fill! VERY frustrating!  Also, I asked off over a month ago for Wednesday-Friday and a later shift on Saturday so my sister could come and visit (the first visit I've had from anyone since I moved down here) and told manager I wanted to fill those hours in somewhere else.   Well, we have a new fill-in tech, so he's filling in for me and I'm not getting those hours back.  SIXTEEN hours on this paycheck and TEN on next.  FML.  A silver lining is that my sister gets to come a little earlier on Tuesday, so that should be fun.  I'm excited to see her, and her best friend might come too, AND her dog is coming! YAY! OH and I'm getting a kitten! So super yay for that.  However, I'm in a much better mood now.   I just watched one of my all time favorite episodes of 5LDK ever...maybe one of my favorite episodes of any variety ever...the 5LDK episode with Becky where they make  fake PV with her mom in it...It's hilarious and it's the episode that made me like Becky...Kinda hated her before I watched it...now I like her quite a bit!

Hell, she got this:

Pretty damn lucky. I think I'd faint.  I love how her scenarios are always so detailed.  Girl has an imagination on her.

Also, I love Tokio variety shows. I'd love to work on one just for the trolling that happens....and Tokio too of course...They made a whole fake PV with Becky's mom. how fun is that?

Becky's mom thought it was fun.

Also, they had a fucking guard rail come down from the ceiling....who does that?

I love how calmly Mabo is watching it come down...like it happens all the time.

Also, I just love Taichi...LOVE HIM!

I just want to be his best friend and laugh with him all the time, he's just so adorable.

The science center near me has a new red panda, and my friend said his name was Taichi. I need to go there.

Also, I need to find the other episode of 5LDK with Becky in it and watch Nagase and Becky's "date"